A short story by Kirsten Stillman (Grade 12)
[Read Part 1 & Part 2]
“Why did you do it?” he asked.
“Because you sounded like you needed a friend,” she answered softly.
“You probably want to chew me out now,” he braced himself.
She took a deep, slow breath, then let it out quietly. “No.”
He looked at her in surprise. “No?”
“You’ve heard it before and if I did it now, it still wouldn’t change anything. It’s something you’ve come to expect. I’m not going to waste my breath.”
“Why?” His voice seemed as confused as he looked. But he was listening to her now. Something he hadn’t done in a long time.
“You tune everyone out, Matt. We all try to help you, but you don’t listen. What is going to change that now?”
He considered that for a moment, then sighed and ran his hand through his short, messy hair.
“Can I ask you something?” She said after he didn’t reply. “Why did you call me?”
“I don’t really know…” Matt stared unseeing out the windshield. “I suppose… it was because I realized that I really didn’t want to be there anymore and… I knew that if I called anyone else, they wouldn’t come.” He hesitated. “Jazz, I can’t… I don’t want to live like this anymore. I feel so tired. Like I’ve reached an all time low. There has to be more to life than just this…”
Jasmine looked over at her friend with smiling eyes as she put the car in park in his driveway. How long had she waited to hear him say those exact words? She had tried to help him before, but had gone about it in all the wrong ways. Matt used to be a great Christian. But somehow in the years that are called high school, he had gotten turned around. He had turned to partying as a sort of bandage for the wounds of life.
“God still loves you, Matt.” Jasmine said softly. “He’s still waiting for you to talk to him.”
Matt sighed guiltily. “But I’ve screwed up so badly.”
“That’s the beauty of it, Matt. He is unconditionally and irrevocably in love with you. All he’s waiting for is for you to run back into his arms. He wants to catch you before you hit the bottom. All you need to do is let Him take care of you.”
“I don’t know how He could still love me after everything I’ve done,” Matt’s voice broke with the pain of his burden.
“‘For God so loved the world that He gave his only son, so that whoever believes in Him will have eternal life.’ God sent His one and only son to come down to earth to die a horrifying and excruciating death so that we – you and me – could be forgiven in times exactly like this. He knew that we would fall at times, but He also promised to pick us back up and dust us off so we would be ready to face the world yet again. He promised to love us, Matt. He loves you so much that he sent His son to die for you.”
Matt choked back a sob. Jazz reached out and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Are you ready to turn back to Him, Matt?”
He nodded. “Jazz, would you pray for me? I don’t… feel like I can.”
She smiled and nodded. They bowed their heads. “God, I know that the love you have for each and every one of your children surpasses our comprehension. I would ask that you wrap that love around Matt right now so he could feel your love as he returns to your arms. Thank you for protecting him and I ask that you keep him safe in the times of trial ahead. I know you have great things in store for Matt in the years to come. Let his story shake the very foundations of the earth. Amen.”
Matt lifted his head, his face practically glowing. His shoulders looked as if they had had a great weight lifted off of them. He took a deep breath, smiling a smile that would have dazzled the heavens and made the angels sing a hallelujah chorus. “Jazz, I did it. I recommitted my life to Him. I feel… well, I haven’t felt this good in years. Thanks.”
“You’re welcome,” she smiled back rejoicing in this moment with him. “So what does this mean for you now?”
He smiled. “Going to church on Sunday again; I haven’t been to church in… well, too long.” His smile turned worried for a moment. “And I have some people to beg forgiveness from.”
“You don’t have to beg,” Jasmine smiled as his eyes looked repentantly at her. “I forgive you.”
She thought of all the times she had watched him turn away from her. She had suffered as she watched him slowly party himself to more intoxicating levels each time. She had been convinced he would get into a car and kill himself and someone else simply because he misjudged a distance while he was drunk or high. Or he would finally drink himself to death one of these times.
She pushed those thoughts away, and buried them with the old Matt.
“Friends?” Matt asked with a relieved smile.
“Friends,” Jasmine leaned over and hugged him. “I missed you, Matt. I’m glad you’re back.”
“Me too,” he chuckled. “Me too…”
